I've seen Wonders; thank to you.

To that one person I currently invest my feelings to,

Hello there. You might think I this is all a game. You might think that I’ve been joking around with you. You might think that I’ve been lying to you all the time. You might think that I was not sincere when I told you that I was courting you.

Half of me was thankful you felt that way for me, and half of me was pained because of what you were thinking.

You did not know I’ve mustered enough courage to tell these things to you. I have been so dumb at choosing my words to say, so it always ended up being unbelievable; they sounded so unreal that even the best men in town would think of it as one of the craziest things a woman could do towards a man.

The truth is everything I did, everything I said towards you, is real.

I could only show an upwards curve on my lips every time I tell myself I’ve been such a fool for doing those things towards you. Yes, they all sounded so dumb; desperate; immature; but the important thing is, I was sincere and courageous enough to do those things to you.

There were times when I refuse to send my messages to you; in the thought that you might think I’m being silly again. For the record, I gathered a lot of unsent messages; the words my mind do not agree to say to you when my heart was so desperate to say so.

You were like a sunshine to me; in fact, brighter than the brightest light shone by the sun. Your presence is an irresistible reason for me to smile. You make my mind feel at ease. Your smile that greets me every time makes my heart flutter. Your voice and your embrace was the warmest every time I feel them.

My friends are kind of confused as to why I got these feelings for you. My admiration towards you; it’s really a mystery as to why it has come to me. I just woke up one day and realized that I like you. A lot.

That’s why I have been doing my best just to get a smile from you, a conversation with you, just to get into your world and mark my existence in it.

Right now, things might be kind of complicated between us anymore.

You have found your way into another road, and you left the road you used to walk in, saying you were never satisfied to where it leads. I was sad at this realization of yours; but because my affection for you ruled over me, I chose to support you on whatever makes you happy and gratified.

I couldn’t undo everything I showed towards you. I know you might be confused of everything I did; but this heart-felt letter I made for you will tell you everything that’s inside my heart.

I have expected my consequences. I know I deserve, even your slightest hatred, towards me, and I will never blame you. I have shown you one of my other sides. I had no idea you wouldn’t like it; so now, I am withdrawing from my habit of annoying you in any way I can.

Also, from the deepest part of me, I am really sorry. I’m sorry for being so annoying, for being affectionate for no clear reasons, for being so desperate to get your attention; and I’m sorry for stopping things just now.

I still think that after this catastrophe our friendship would still be restored, like this never happened, like all of these was just a dream.

However the fluttering feelings I have for you will remain. You would still be this one person that I admire despite the flaws everyone sees towards you.

Please forgive me and let love forget all the bad things we’ve witnessed.

To you, J, thank you for giving me the chance to show to you the wonders I had developed and discovered because of you.